


perhaps

by springdxy



Category: NINE PERCENT (Band), 偶像练习生 | Idol Producer (TV)
Genre: Angst, Break Up, M/M, i was sad then i made zhengting sad too
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-04
Updated: 2018-05-04
Packaged: 2019-05-02 01:25:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14533665
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/springdxy/pseuds/springdxy
Summary: zhengting knows what he should do





	perhaps

 

 

Perhaps he should’ve done it sooner. Perhaps he was just being mean by prolonging this. The sun is slowly falling outside, shades of orange painting over Xukun’s face, and Zhengting is watching. Watching his cheek pressed against the pillow, pouty lips, closed eyes. Xukun asleep is just as beautiful as awake and that’s something Zhengting never got used to. Xukun’s beauty. Too pretty. Always too pretty.

They are close enough Zhengting could kiss him if he wanted to. Mold his lips against Xukun’s and kiss him soft and slow the way they’ve been doing for years now. Perhaps he wants to. He’s kinda sure he wants to. But kissing him would waking him up and then everything would be over way too soon, way too badly. Zhengting wants to keep looking at Xukun, to carve in his brain every little detail — the spot on his cheek, the slight smile, the peace written all over his face.

“I loved you” he whispers into nothing, praying for the wind and the universe to pass the message to him later “I really did”

Sometimes things just don’t work out — or they do until they don’t anymore. It’s just how the world is, and Zhengting was always aware of this, of how it was unlikely to be forever, and even then promises were made, lives were shared. Zhengting will remember them, he’s sure Xukun will too, and that’s possibly what’s breaking his heart the most.

“I still love you, just not the way you want me to”

Xukun moves a little, grumbling something, stills again. Zhengting watches one last time the way his chest goes up and down, the way his fingers curl around the tip of the blanket, sleeping so peacefully. He has to force himself to get up, to get away, to leave this bed, leave this house, leave this life.

When he reaches the door, Xukun’s cat is looking at him with his round, lazy eyes. He leaves the place with tears and silence, not having the heart to bid goodbye.

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> didn't even reread before posting so this is probably a mess im sorry


End file.
